Flight Risk is the Stupidest Movie I've Seen in Years
And you should go see it tomorrow!
January is possibly my most favorite movie month for movie releases. It is not the best, but it is probably my favorite, and honestly it’s not even close.
Some people call it Dumpuary, as in a pejorative that studios dump the stuff they don’t think will hit, while lots of theaters are re-releasing Oscar films (or releasing them for the first fucking time, thanks MSP!).
I call it Let David Get That Good Shit Into His Vein Month.
Have you seen the movie Leprechaun? Or From Dusk Till Dawn? Or Juice? Or Taken? Or Get Out?
On the other hand, Season of the Witch, the 2022 version of Pinocchio, Monster Trucks, Synchronisty, Car 54 Where are You1, Win A Date with Tad Hamilton!… anyways you get the idea.
January is where movie studios try to cut their losses, appease a director, or just straight throw their hands up in the fucking air.
However the last couple of Januarys have delivered a gem or two, possibly just specifically for me, but possibly not. The Beekeeper broke my brain and I saw it three times in theaters and have watched it at least twice at home. Jason Statham can take me into his big muscly arms and put a bullet in my head anytime.
I snuck into One Of Them Days after seeing 2024 release Room Next Door, and holy fuck listener, One Of Them Days is fucking amazing. But we are not here to discuss that amazing comedy, but please go see that movie!
I am here to discuss the stupidest fucking movie I’ve seen in years, directed by Mel Gibson, starring Mark Wahlberg2 (who shaved his head into the stupid hair he has, I commend the man commiting to his craft).
Now I say that this IS the STUPIDEST FUCKING MOVIE I’VE SEEN IN YEARS, with the least amount of respect. Also should you see this movie listener? Yes, yes you should.
Leah Remini just being a voice for the first two thirds, check. I kinda hated Michelle Dockery and Boy Kills World, but she was decent in this. Topher Grace was also decent, but the most iconic performace is Marky Mark Wahlberg.
I am going to stop people here and let folks know that this movie fucking sucks, is stupid and probably shouldn’t have been made. It was also a Blacklist scrpt, so clearly there was a good script here. Do I still love this movie? Fucking Yes!
The Beekeeper occupied this January kick shit out of people medium last year, I haven’t see Den of Thieves 2, but the next Statham movie which I am fucking stoked for is A Working Man.
Back to why you should spend your American dollars on Flight Risk3. you shouldn’t, but holy fuck if you do… you will be on the edge of your seat for the entirety of the movie. That is not necessarily a bad thing in these times. I was literally the only person in my theater tonight.
Just go see movies in theaters and just message me when you do, I have thoughts and I am sure you do too!
I once lost my shit at my parents, because we went to the gas station to rent a movie and I had just read Rising Sun by Micheal Crichton and was super excited to see the movie after reading a fuckton of his earlier work and had just seen Jurrasic Park. Anyways my dad picked up the Rising Sun Video Cassete container, yes kids, we used to have to go to a gas station and take a unfilled VHS cassette container to a cashier and they would charge you and then put the VHS tape into the non-descript container. Anyways, long story short, I was fucking stoked to watch Rising Sun, love Snipes, love Connery and when I put the VHS in it was fuckin Car 54, fuck that movie for the rest of days.
Wahlberg has an insane life regime where he is in bed by like 6pm and wakes up at 6am. My father who is a baker also had an insane schedule, but he’d never say he would have prevented 9/11, although maybe some patstries might’ve helped.
Go see Presence instead, that movie is ctually fucking good!